Shared stories of resilience.
I recently had the pleasure of speaking to Howard Fox, owner of Fox Coaching Inc. and creating an episode of Success Insight Podcast. We talked about resilience and what it takes for people to get through the struggles in their lives, in order to create the life of their dreams.
Have a listen:
https://www.successinsightpodcast.com/2019/11/kelly-ann-mcknight.html
Exercise is one of the Factors of resilience dsicussed in the book, The Resilience Way. One important part of this section talks about the benefits of exercise for your brain. And when it comes to resilience, brain health is critical in supporting all of the other Elements.
Here are a few things we know about exercise and brain health…
Dr. Wendy Suzuki, a Professor of Neural Science and Psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University, is also an author, storyteller and fitness instructor. Several years ago, she began an experiment on herself. She was finding that despite her successful career as a neuroscientist she was not happy. She had no social life and did not have a healthy lifestyle. When she went on a rafting trip, she discovered she was the weakest person on the boat.
This was a turning point for her. She decided to make exercise part of her life.
The result was a complete change to her life, both personally and professionally. She ended up changing her entire research focus to look at the effects of regular exercise on our brains.
The first thing she found was a growing body of literature that was essentially showing everything that she had noticed in herself. People who exercise regularly experience better mood, better energy, better memory, and better attention.
Exercise has three impacts on our brains:
1. First, it has an immediate, but short-lived effect on your brain. A single workout will increase your mood immediately. Dr. Suzuki’s research showed that “a single workout can improve your ability to shift and focus attention, and that focus improvement will last for at least two hours.” You can also expect improved reaction times.
2. Second, an exercise regime that increases your cardio-respiratory function will give you longer-lasting effects, including the production of new brain cells that actually increase the brain’s volume, which improves long-term memory, focus and attentiveness. These improvements are less transient and have long-term benefits.
3. Perhaps the most important thing that exercise does is protect your brain. If you think about the brain like a muscle, it follows that the more you exercise, the bigger and stronger your brain becomes. This is important, because when the brain grows, it expands the prefrontal cortex and the hippocampus, the two areas most susceptible to neurodegenerative diseases and normal cognitive decline in aging. According to Dr. Suzuki, “…with increased exercise over your lifetime, you’re not going to cure dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, but…you’re going to create the strongest, biggest hippocampus and prefrontal cortex so it takes longer for these diseases to actually have an effect.”
Recent research out of The Cleavland Clinic aligns with Dr. Suzuki’s findings. This research suggests that physical activity may benefit the brain in a number of ways, such as:
Promoting cardiovascular health.
Improving blood flow to the brain.
Reducing inflammation.
Lowering levels of stress hormones.
According to Aaron Bonner-Jackson, a neuropsychologist with Cleveland Clinic’s Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health, all of these factors can adversely affect cognition.
Dr. Bonner-Jackson offers these take-aways:
Stay physically active. Aim for 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity (like walking, jogging, biking or swimming) a week, but realize that any physical activity can benefit your brain.
Try new, mentally stimulating activities you enjoy. Practice new hobbies, read a new book, or learn new skills, such as woodworking, gardening, solving puzzles or math problems, or mastering a new language or musical instrument.
Stay socially engaged, and avoid isolation. Schedule regular get-togethers with friends and family, join a social organization, or volunteer at your church, hospital or charitable group.
So if you are anything like me, and you struggle to find motivation to exercise, do it for your brain and think of it as insurance for your mental aptitude as you age. This will help you to remain resilient in your later years.
Have you ever met someone who thinks that everything happens due to luck? When good things happen, they were lucky. When bad things happen, luck was against them. They take no responsibility for outcomes, assuming that the negative outcomes have nothing to do with their own decisions and actions – it’s all just bad luck.
I think a good way to think about luck is through the ancient quote: “Luck favors the prepared.” By being focused on a goal and having a plan in place to reach it, you allow luck to find you. You allow the elements into your life that will help you. You recognize them when they arrive. You don’t miss huge opportunities because you had no idea they were meant for you.
For me, luck relates to the powers of the universe sending you what you need. You need to be able to recognize the elements that are meant for you. “Luck”, in other words, requires that you have a plan in place, so you can notice the elements that will help you, grab hold of them, and use them in your plan.
You may be familiar with Dr. Wayne Dyer, the internationally famous author and speaker. We lost him in 2015 at the age of 75. He leaves us with over 40 books about motivation and spirituality. In my early aulthood I read The Power of Intention and it became the basis of my thoughts on how I interact with the universe. Dr. Dyer, in his many books and presentations, shares a way of thinking about how clarity of values, vision and planning allow us to tap into the power of the universe. It is from him that I got my mantra, “the universe sends me what I need, when I need it.”
He puts it much more eloquently when he says:
“Everything in the universe has a purpose. Indeed, the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you.”
The purpose of knowing yourself, what you want and where you are headed, is to ensure that when things that you need come along, you recognize them. In this way, you build your vision. In this way, you become your best self, your most resilient self.
Personal Clarity is about creating a solid understanding of what matters to you, what you want to accomplish in your life, and how you plan to get there. This clarity allows you to adjust your pathway, to allow for welcome surprises and new challenges. You never know what will happen to you in life, but better to prepare for success on your own terms, and then, adjust as needed so that you achieve your Personal Vision.
Good Luck!
There was a reason the funeral of my late husband, David, was so well attended. It had to do with his ability to connect with other people. We all learned to rely on him for his ability to listen well and provide sage advice. People knew that it was safe to share all of their troubles with David, that he was open to listening if you needed a sounding board. This became a key part of his resilience when times got tough, because people were there to support him, just as he had supported them. The depth of the relationships he had built with friends and colleagues became a source of strength as he navigated his cancer journey.
David’s ability to be a “trusted advisor” was key to his resilience.
So how can we all be better at supporting others? How can we make it clear that we are wiling to listen and that we want to support others? David had a simple question that he asked often. It was,
“So, what else is new?”
I know… this seems like an innocuous little question, but it is powerful. David would slip it in at the beginning of a conversation, just like many of us would, and then several more times when there was a pause in the flow. I recall listening to him use this with others and thinking to myself, “You just asked that a few minutes ago.” What this did was bring the conversation right back to the other person, and away from himself or any mundane topics that had crept in. So, instead of talking more about the weather or the hockey scores, David would steer the conversation back to the other person. And, “So, what else is new” was such a non-threatening question that people could answer it in any way they liked. But eventually they would begin to tell him about their deeper concerns. In this way David learned about family troubles, financial woes, and mental health issues. People shared their deepest worries. He was then able to be that person you relied upon to hear about your issues.
Those who knew David will certainly tell you that he was a no-nonsense, practical person. He did not exude, “Come and tell me all your problems.” But this one simple question, used often and repeatedly, would draw out the worries of others. In this way he was gifted with the opportunity to help others through the beauty of a listening ear and quiet lips. After listening well, he might offer advice, or not. The gift of listening was the true gold.
It was David’s ability to support others that brought people closer to him. Many of us benefited greatly from his quiet presence. In his absence we need to continue to support each other by listening well and often and moving beyond the mundane to the issues that are really concerning. So how do you get someone with depression to talk about their despair? How do you get someone who is grieving to feel less isolated? Try, “What else is new?” and then a few minutes later, after talking more about politics and our busy schedules. ask again, “What else is new?” Eventually the other person will get the point… you really want to offer your support in things that actually matter.
So, what else IS new with you?
This quote comes from Karen Kimsey-House, CEO and Co-Founder of The Coaches Training Institute (CTI). In a Forbes article she talks about the importance of knowing and aligning yourself to your personal values. In The Resilience Way we focus on the need to have values clarity as this becomes a critical rudder during tough times. When you have to make decisions and you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious, knowing your values will give your decision making a frame or some boundaries and help you make decisions that work for you. As I moved through the struggle of my late husband’s cancer journey and the subsequent loss of this amazing man, my values held fast and let me feel as comfortable as possible with my own journey. When I look back now I know that values clarity was a critical part of my resilience.
Read the Forbes interview with Karen Kimsey-House…
And read more about all of the Elements of Resilience in The Resilience Way….
This recent CNBC article about mental health issues is interesting and recognizes the costs to organizations when people struggle with poor mential health. This is a key factor in The Resilience Way.
I am including an excerpt from the article describing how Cisco, the multinational tech giant, is dealing with the mental health needs of its employees. This is a key factor of resilience and a great example of what can be done…
Roughly 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. per year suffer from mental illness, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The costs to treat depression, stress, anxiety and other ailments exceeds $200 billion a year, and for many employers the number of sick days and lost productivity associated with mental health represent one of their biggest expenses.
The extent of the problem has caught some off guard. Fran Katsoudas, chief people officer at Cisco, recalled that after the deaths of celebrities Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade last year, the company’s CEO, Chuck Robbins, sent out a company-wide email addressing the issues of mental health and suicide.
In it he wrote: “In light of recent tragedies, I wanted to step away from Cisco Live for a moment to talk about the importance of mental health. Unfortunately, we all know friends, family, and coworkers battling mental health conditions, or maybe you’re going through your own struggles.”
Robbins, who took over the CEO role in 2015, encouraged employees to “talk openly and extend compassion” and asked that they “have each other’s backs.”
Katsoudas said the response from Robbins’ email was unlike anything the company had ever seen before. “This was a conversation that our employees wanted to have — and not only the conversation, but they needed support.”
Cisco is optimistic about the opportunity to drive culture change and create an environment where mental health is viewed, spoken about and supported in the same way as physical health.
Cisco spokesperson
Cisco immediately took action to establish a culture of acceptance and pave the way for these conversations. One of their first steps was to include mental health services in the company’s health-care coverage. In addition, Cisco launched #SafetoTalk, which it calls the first virtual community for employees to come forward and connect weekly with others to share their struggles.
“Each of us has a role to play in making sure that those suffering feel less afraid to ask for support in the moments they need it most. No one needs to go it alone,” said Robbins in a note to Cisco employees about #SafetoTalk.
This week Cisco celebrated World Mental Health Day with a series of weeklong activities and virtual event sessions with Cisco employees and mental health experts. Though it’s still early, Cisco claims that 7% of its U.S. workforce is accessing some form of mental health and substance abuse treatment. The programs are available to all of Cisco’s 75,000 employees and 11,000 managers.
“Cisco is optimistic about the opportunity to drive culture change and create an environment where mental health is viewed, spoken about and supported in the same way as physical health,” said a company spokesperson, adding that U.S. engagement for Cisco’s Employee and Family Assistance Program is 40%, compared to 24% for Cisco’s peers.
Despite such programs, according to Katsoudas, there is more to be done, and Cisco is betting that proactive measures could be key.
“In addition to all of these services that respond, we’re also taking a look at how you reduce some of the stress in the system — how you ensure that people don’t get to a place where they feel burned out,” says Katsoudas.
To address this, Cisco is currently offering its employees a five-session course designed to enhance concentration, resiliency and creative thinking, where participants learn simple cognitive strategies and engage in mental training exercises to optimize their performance at work.
Here is the entire article:
Physical Health is the final piece of the resiliency puzzle. As anyone who has been seriously ill can attest, if you don’t have your health, you have nothing. Although this statement is simplistic, it is basically true. As resilient people, we need to maintain our physical health in order to be able to play in the other areas of resilience. Now, we don’t always get to control our physical health, and many can tell stories about how their health became an enormous struggle. But even in those times, we want to separate what we can control from what we can’t, while working on maintaining and improving our physical health as best we can. We can do this through good habits in the areas of sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Dynamic Thinking is the concept that allows you to move forward with a mindset that will enable you to implement your plans. First, you need the confidence to know that you can and will succeed. Confidence is about optimism, to the extent that you need to be able to see the possibilities in front of you, and not be pulled down by any possible risks. You also need to be able to see situations realistically, so you can notice what is getting in your way. And finally, you need to be able to learn to adapt to situations and change your habits and behaviour when they get in your way. Resilient people can adapt and change in order to accomplish their goals. They are not, and do not get, stuck in old patterns that are not working.
Resilient people have a clear idea of where they are headed in life. They know what matters to them and what they want to accomplish. When difficulties arise they can adjust their plans but they still know their long-term direction. This Personal Clarity is essential to becoming and remaining resilient. To establish this element means having a clear picture of who you are, what you want in your life, and how you plan to achieve your ultimate goals. When you understand your values, you can notice when situations are not in line with them and react accordingly. Your vision, the ultimate picture of what you want to achieve in your life, must also be clear so you can be and remain aligned to this vision. You also need a clear set of personal goals with pre-planned steps that move you toward your vision. Without this personal clarity, you will be pulled in directions that clash with your goals and values, and in tough times, you will have a hard time making good decisions.
Learn more by reading The Resilience Way.
Relationships have been an important, if not essential, element in the lives of human beings from their beginning. We were never intended to live independent of one another and are tribal by nature. Resilient people enjoy strong relationships that help them through the tough times. In fact, tough times build relationships, because the shared experience builds connection between people. To grow our resilience, we need to look for support from others, and then enjoy the feelings of comfort and stability that come with that support. We also need to use the people we trust for feedback and advice when we need it. The act of helping others is also a key action of building resilience. We can enjoy the rewards of feeling that we are useful to others and the benefit of knowing that we can help others. Finally, we need to notice any relationships that are actually, or have the potential of, reducing our resilience. We need to deal with these people by constructing boundaries that protect us.
Learn more and read stories about people who demonstrate the resilience element in The Resilience Way, availalble now on Amazon.
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