What's Your Vision? Does it Make You Resilient?

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Resilient people have a clear idea of where they are headed in life. They know what matters to them and what they want to accomplish. When difficulties arise they can adjust their plans but they still know their long-term direction. This Personal Clarity is essential to becoming and remaining resilient. To establish this element means having a clear picture of who you are, what you want in your life, and how you plan to achieve your ultimate goals.  When you understand your values, you can notice when situations are not in line with them and react accordingly.  Your vision, the ultimate picture of what you want to achieve in your life, must also be clear so you can be and remain aligned to this vision.  You also need a clear set of personal goals with pre-planned steps that move you toward your vision.  Without this personal clarity, you will be pulled in directions that clash with your goals and values, and in tough times, you will have a hard time making good decisions. 

Learn more by reading The Resilience Way.

Are the Relationships in Your Life Building Your Resilience?

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Relationships have been an important, if not essential, element in the lives of human beings from their beginning. We were never intended to live independent of one another and are tribal by nature. Resilient people enjoy strong relationships that help them through the tough times.  In fact, tough times build relationships, because the shared experience builds connection between people.  To grow our resilience, we need to look for support from others, and then enjoy the feelings of comfort and stability that come with that support.  We also need to use the people we trust for feedback and advice when we need it.  The act of helping others is also a key action of building resilience.  We can enjoy the rewards of feeling that we are useful to others and the benefit of knowing that we can help others.  Finally, we need to notice any relationships that are actually, or have the potential of, reducing our resilience.  We need to deal with these people by constructing boundaries that protect us.

Learn more and read stories about people who demonstrate the resilience element in The Resilience Way, availalble now on Amazon.

Care for Your Emotional Well-Being

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One of the Five Elements of Resilience in The Resilience Way is Emotional Well-Being. This is a key part of how we build our resilience so that we can handle the struggles and challenges we face. This element is deeply personal and there is not one way to approach developing and maintaining Emotional Well-Being, but we must all find our own way through this topic. Here’s why:

Emotional Well-Being involves being in tune to what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way.   We need to learn to tune into our overall emotional state and create awareness of what is going on.  With this self-awareness, we can start to deal with issues, look for support, and learn about the triggers and obstacles that seem to get in our way.  This requires introspection and a willingness to wonder about and dig into your emotional state.  It is also about taking care of your mental wellness; and not ignoring problems when they arise.  When we ignore the signs and symptoms of mental and emotional issues, we don’t allow ourselves to be resilient.  Emotional Well-Being also involves spirituality. We can gain a great deal of strength, peace and hope through a spiritual connection to the universe, knowing that our existence involves more than what we can see.  How we define our spirituality is a personal matter and we need only to feel connected to a higher power.  Our goal is to feel more emotionally grounded as a result of our spirituality.

How Self-Awareness Builds Resilience

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Self-Awareness is a critical step in being able to manage your resilience.  If you can notice what is happening with your emotions, you have the critical feedback you need to manage them.  With this, you can understand the impact that your feelings have on you and your behavior and modify as needed.

Some people have learned the skill of Self-Awareness, and others have not.   Some of us are somewhere in between.  There is a continuum of Self-Awareness.

You probably know someone who seems to have absolutely no clue about what is going on with their emotions.  You see their behaviour, perhaps they are quick to anger or become quiet and withdrawn when they encounter an uncomfortable situation.  They seem limited in their ability to control their reactions to situations and people.  They may even blame their issues on other people or situations, without taking responsibility for their own involvement. 

You may also know someone who seems completely aware of their inner self and can control their emotions and reactions to situations and people.  They have a grounded, centred approach and they can find space to be compassionate towards others.  They take responsibility for their actions and reactions.  They can also create boundaries and understand when the actions of others are not their problem.  I recall one such person in my own life, who had a knack for sharing thoughts like, “Well, that sounds like someone else’s issue.”

Want to find out where you stand on the continuum? Want to improve your Self-Awareness? Stay tuned to this blog for more about The Self-Awareness Continuum, or order your copy of The Resilience Way today! 

Want to be better at handling your challenges?

The Resilience Way is a model that will help you manage through difficulties and create the life you truly want. It is a process that allows you to assess your current level of resilience and then figure out what you can do differently to improve. Start with The Resilience Way Self-Assessment (a free online resource available at theresilienceway.com) and then learn about the parts of the resilience model where you need to focus. You can’t do it all at once but step by step you will begin to see significant changes in your abilities to handle the challenges before you. You will see your path forward with clarity and find the energy to move on. No matter your struggle, improving on your resilience elements will help.

The Resilience Way is Here!

After so many years of development, writing, editing, rewriting, formatting and so on… The Resilience Way is now out in the world. The reaction has been wonderful! I’m so grateful to all those who expressed their excitment about the book. It was also lovely to hear from some folks I have not seen in many years.

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My dream for this book is that it will help people understand what they might do (or do better) in order to prepare themselves for life’s difficult times. My own experience is part of this, but the amazing stories I collected from people who have survived unimaginable strugggles with strength and courage also inspired the book. Once I had a few of these stories I really had to write the book in order to give them space to be shared.

I hope you will love the book. If you do I also hope you will write a review in Amazon so that others will have the chance to see the book pop up when they look for guidance and support in their own lives.

My hearfelt thanks to all of you!

Kelly Ann

A Leap of Faith on a Bike!

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I’m away camping this week in Arrowhead Provincial Park. It’s such a beautiful place with lots to do including some great mountain biking trails. I’m riding with my husband George who is an experienced rider but I’m a relative “newby” and some of the hills with their uneven terrain make me very nervous. As I was riding yesterday I was living out the concept of “leap of faith” that I talk about in The Resilience Way™. At one point I had to decide whether to ride down or get off and walk a fairly big and muddy hill. I found myself making a quick intuitive decision that I could handle it and then I shut off my logical brain and just rode. I was fine. Exhilarated in fact. I was really proud of myself when I got to the bottom of the hill. Now had I continued my analysis instead of taking that leap of faith, I would have allowed my fears to factor in. I would have talked myself out of the ride because of the risks. I would have missed the opportunity to stretch my skills.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m still no daredevil. I don’t ignore real risks or leap into serious danger. I have a day job afterall. But I try hard not to stop myself from trying things just because I’m afraid. I am resilient because I am willing to take some risks and see what happens. So often the outcome is worth the risk.

Keep your eyes open for your next chance to leap. You don’t need to have all the details of your plans in place before you move forward. You don’t have to ask every possible question. There are lots of situations where your best guess is good enough and you should just jump! Go for it!

Sharing "Stories of Resilience"

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In these summer months many of us are gifted with opportuntities to play in the great outdoors. For me, these also provide chances to stretch my wings, try new things, and build my resilience. I’m about to turn 52 but I’m not about to stop learning and growing. I recently had the chance to learn to kayak, for example, and I literally “jumped right in”. I had visions of being dumped into the dark lake, but I also had hope that I might see parts of this majestic park unavailable to landlubbers.

In The Resilience Way, I talk about three Factors that I used in my kayak experience. I started with Confidence. I had a positive attitude about learning to kayak, and I took a leap of faith and agreed to try it. I also asked for help (Seek Support) from others who knew more about kayaking than I did. From a complete stranger, for instance, I learned the best way to get in without tipping. I also used my Self-Awareness as I recongnized my concern about losing control of the situation. I had to focus on that worry and realize that the worst case situation was a quick dip into a lovely warm lake - not so bad, really.

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Jumping into that kayak allowed me to learn and grow and share some special moments with my family. The kids watched me demonstrate my strong Value around life long learning. We also got to sit quietly together in a tiny secluded bay and watch a parade of dragonflies in a rainbow of colors. We watched the resilience of Mother Nature and built our own resilience along the way.

So what are you not doing because you are afraid? Perhaps you could reconsider the need for that fear and find the courage to give it a try. We are all resilient to some degree and we can continue to build that ability to manage through stuggles and challenges by doing just that - take on a new challenge! Enjoy and tell me your story about a time when you did this. And if you have any kayaking advice, bring it on!